Of Slicing Men: A LitRPGGameLit Adventure (The Good Guys Book 14) by Eric Ugland

Author:Eric Ugland [Ugland, Eric]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Air Quotes Publishing, Inc.
Published: 2023-04-29T16:00:00+00:00

36

“I am not a psycho,” Bear snapped at me as soon as we were back in my tent. “You’re the one who–”

“I know you aren’t,” I said, grabbing my cloak, which just coincidentally also contained the brownie, and chucked it across the room. “I was just saying that to be funny.”

“But you aren’t funny,” Ragnar said.

“I’m hilarious. Where are the goblins? They’ll tell you.”

“Your tribe is still at large, your grace,” Albrecht said, coming into the tent at the perfect time to be annoying.

“They aren’t my tribe.”

“They most certainly are.”

“They’re his worshippers,” Ragnar said, eating something that looked like candy.

“What’s that?” I asked.

Ragnar’s eyes went large, and he shoved the whole mystery item into his maw.

“Merper shurgar carndar,” he replied, mouth full and barely moving, being that it was clearly difficult for him to chew, let alone speak.

Had this been the old old days, back with the Iron Brood, I’d have stuck my finger in his mouth, and hooked the candy out, popped in my mouth, and eaten it. That was the sort of beautiful assholic move that I was known for in the Club. But it seemed beneath me, now that I was a duke. Plus it seemed mean. I didn’t think many luxuries or niceties were going to come our way in the near future.

“Ragnar,” I said, getting back to business as I started the process of getting armored, “take Bear and Fritz, and go see if you get a look at the horses Mahrduhm has in Rumib Pass.”

“Any particular horses?” Ragnar asked. “You want a nice white one to give your sweetie?”

“Sweetie?”

“You know who.”

“I want to see if there are more steel horses. So I can turn them into–”

“Don’t do it, boss,” Ragnar said. “It’s not worth it.”

“Steal horses.”

Ragnar rolled off his cot and crawled out of the tent. “That’s it,” he said, “I’m out.”

“I admire your plan,” Albrecht said, “though calling it a plan is rather generous. More a vague concept at this point. However, how do you imagine you will get the horses from where they are to a position where you can actually remove them from Mahrduhm hands?”

“Two ideas, really,” I said. “One, the mean way, we just sneaky sneak and kill all the horses, steel included. I’m not a big fan of animal mutilation, so I prefer plan two, which is Fritz attack. He can easily pick up a horse or two and bring them back. I doubt they’ve got any sort of aerial defenses in place yet.”

“So you could get two more of the horses, but also lose whatever surprise edge Fritz might give us.”

“Yeah.”

“Steel horses are very heavy. I daresay Fritz has his work cut out even carrying two.”

“I mean, we could always just ride ‘em back here.”

“Through the Mahrduhm lines?”

“You think they’d expect us to be coming from that direction? We’ll pretend we’re going to attack, well, us.”

“So now we need to find enough riders to make that work, eh?”

“I mean, that’s difficult, I’ll give you that. Bear, how many people can you illusion up?”

“How real do they need to seem?” Bear asked from my shoulder.

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